error: still alive

I’m 29 and I still wanna scream
What the fuck is wrong with me?
My mind’s a glitch, my heart’s on mute
I wear this pain like it’s a suite

I could bare my sharpened teeth
Rip the curse out, root and seed
But every time I start to heal
I self-destruct, I start to bleed

I fake a smile like it’s part of the script
But I choke on the lines – I’m sick of this shit
Every time I crawl out of the hole
Something in me pulls me back cold

I’m 29 and I still wanna scream
What the hell is wrong with me?
Feels like my mind is broken inside
My soul has never found true peace

I could show them all my teeth
Break the curse that still repeats
But every time I feel okay
I spiral back the same old way

I’m 29, but I feel like a kid
Buried in a coffin, seven feet beneath
I’d build a time machine from grief
Just to erase you out of me

Tick… tick…
I’ve been digging my own grave with broken nails
Smiling like I planned this hell
You wanna save me? Get in line.
I WAS NEVER FINE!

I don’t want help — I want silence
I don’t want peace — I want violence
I don’t want closure — I want flames
Bury me with my fucking name

I’m a one-man cult, a walking scar
Burned out prayers in a stolen jar
I ghost my shrink, ignore the calls
And drag you down when I start to fall

Already 29…
Still not fine…
Still wanna scream…
Just one more time.